TRUE TEST

October 21st, 2005 by jagster

John Blanchard stood up from the bench
straightened his Army uniform, and studied the crowd of people making their way
through Grand Central Station. He looked for the girl whose heart he knew, but
whose face he didn’t, the girl with the rose. His interest in her had begun thirteen months before in a Florida library. Taking a book off the shelf he found
himself intrigued, not with the words of the book, but with the notes penciled
in the margin. The soft handwriting reflected a thoughtful soul and insightful
mind. In the front of the book, he
discovered the previous owner’s name, Miss Hollis Maynell. With time and effort
he located her address. She lived in New York City

. He wrote her a letter
introducing himself and inviting her to correspond. The next day he was shipped
overseas for service in World War II. During the next year and one month the two grew to know each other
through the mail. Each letter was a seed falling on a fertile heart. A romance
was budding. Blanchard requested a
photograph, but she refused. She felt that if he really cared, it wouldn’t
matter what she looked like. When the day finally
came for him to return from Europe, they scheduled their first meeting -7:00 PM at the Grand Central Station in New York. "You’ll recognize me," she
wrote, "by the red rose I’ll be wearing on my lapel." So at 7:00 he was in the station looking for a girl
whose heart he loved, but whose face he’d never seen. I’ll let Mr. Blanchard tell you what
happened: A young woman was
coming toward me, her figure long and slim. Her blonde hair lay back in curls
from her delicate ears; her eyes were blue as flowers. Her lips and chin had a gentle firmness, and
in her pale green suit she was like springtime come alive. I started toward
her, entirely forgetting to notice that she was not wearing a rose. As I moved,
a small, provocative smile curved her lips. "Going my way, sailor?"
she murmured. Almost uncontrollably, I made one step closer to her, and then I
saw Hollis Maynell. She was standing
almost directly behind the girl. A woman
well past 40, she had graying hair tucked under a worn hat. She was more than
plump, her thick-ankled feet thrust into low-heeled shoes. The girl in the green suit was walking
quickly away. I felt as though I was split in two, so keen was my desire to
follow her, and yet so deep was my longing for the woman whose spirit had truly
companioned me and upheld my own. And there she stood. Her pale, plump face was
gentle and sensible, her gray eyes had a warm and kindly twinkle.

 

I did not hesitate.
My fingers gripped the small worn blue leather copy of the book that was to
identify me to her. This would not be
love, but it would be something precious, something perhaps even better than
love, a friendship for which I had been and must ever be grateful. I squared my
shoulders and saluted and held out the book to the woman, even though while I
spoke I felt choked by the bitterness of my disappointment. "I’m
Lieutenant John Blanchard, and you must be Miss Maynell. I am so glad you could
meet me; may I take you to dinner?" The woman’s face broadened into a
tolerant smile. "I don’t know what this is about, son," she answered,
"but the young lady in the green suit who just went by, she begged me to
wear this rose on my coat. And she said if you were to ask me out to dinner, I
should tell you that she is waiting for you in the big restaurant across the
street. She said it was some kind of test!"

 

It’s not difficult to
understand and admire Miss Maynell’s wisdom. The true nature of a heart is seen
in its response to the unattractive. "Tell me whom you love,"
Houssaye wrote, "And I will tell you who you are."

THERE IS ONLY ONE STORY

October 21st, 2005 by jagster

THERE IS ONLY ONE STORY

 
There
is only one story:

he
loved her

then
stopped loving her,

while
she did not

stop
loving him.

 

There
is only one story:

she
loved him

then
stopped loving him,

while
he did not

stop
loving her.

 

The
truth is simple:

you
do not die

from
love

 

You
only wish

you
did.

True Love

October 21st, 2005 by jagster

 

True
love is a sacred flame
That burns eternally,
And none can dim its special glow
Or change its destiny.
True love speaks in tender tones
And hears with gentle ear,
True love gives with open heart
And true love conquers fear.
True love makes no harsh demands
It neither rules nor binds,
And true love holds with gentle hands
The hearts that it entwines.

CANCEROUS FOODS / PRODUCTS

October 11th, 2005 by jagster

    SATAY LOVERS (BARBECUE)

    If you all eat Satay, don’t ever forget to eat the cucumber, because eating Satay together with carbon after barbequing can cause cancer.

    But we have a cure for that… Cucumber should be eaten after we eat the Satay because Satay has carcinogen (a cancer causing element) but cucumber is anti-carcinogenic. So don’t forget to eat the cucumber the next time you have Satay’s.

    PRAWNS (SUGPO) & VIT C

    DO NOT eat shrimp / prawn if you have just taken VITAMIN C pills!!

    This will cause you to DIE in ARSENIC (As) toxication within HOURS!!

    PORK AWARENESS

    Try this and see whether the pork you bought has worms. There goes with your "Bak Kut Teh" for those who love it. Most men love to eat this so watch out before it’s too late. If you pour Coke (yes, the soda) on a slab of pork, wait a little while, you will SEE WORMS crawl out of it. A message from the Health Corporation of Singapore about the bad effects of pork consumption. Pig’s bodies contain MANY TOXINS, WORM and LATENT DISEASES.

    Although some of these infestations are harboured in other animals, modern veterinarians say that pigs are far MORE PREDISPOSED to these illnesses than other animals. This could be because PIGS like to SCAVENGE and will eat ANY kind of food, INCLUDING dead insects, worms, rotting carcasses, excreta including their own, garbage, and other pigs. INFLUENZA (flu) is one of the MOST famous illnesses which pigs share with humans. This illness is harboured in the LUNGS of pigs during the summer months and tends to affect pigs and human in the cooler months.

    Sausage contains bits of pigs’ lungs, so those who EAT pork sausage tend to SUFFER MORE during EPIDEMICS of INFLUENZA. Pig meat contains EXCESSIVE quantities of HISTAMINE and IMIDAZOLE compounds, which can lead to ITCHING and INFLAMMATION; GROWTH HORMONE which PROMOTES INFLAMMATION and growth; sulphur containing mesenchymal mucus which leads to SWELLING and deposits of MUCUS in tendons and cartilage, resulting in ATHRITIS, RHEUMATISM, etc.

    Sulphur helps cause FIRM human tendons and ligaments to be replaced by the pig’s soft mesenchymal tissues, and degeneration of human cartilage.

    Eating pork can also lead to GALLSTONES and OBESITY, probably due to its HIGH CHOLESTEROL and SATURATED FAT content. The pig is the MAIN CARRIER of the TAENIE SOLIUM WORM, which is found in its flesh. These tapeworms are found in human intestines with greater frequency in nations where pigs are eaten. This type of tapeworm can pass through the intestines and affect many other organs, and is incurable once it reaches beyond a certain stage. One in six people in the US and Canada has RICHINOSIS from eating trichina worms, which are found in pork.

    Many people have NO SYMPTOMS to warm them of this, and when they do, they resemble symptoms of many other illnesses. These worms are NOT noticed during meat inspections.

    SHAMPOO

    Cancer-causing substance in shampoos. Go home and check your shampoo. Change before it’s too late… Check the ingredients listed on your shampoo bottle, and see they have a substance by the name of Sodium Laureth Sulfate, or simply SLS. This substance is found in most shampoos; manufacturers use it because it produces a lot of foam and it is cheap. BUT the fact is, SLS is used to scrub garage floors, and it is very strong!!! It is also proven that it can cause cancer in the long run, and this is no joke. Shampoos that contains SLS: Vo5, Palmolive, Paul Mitchell, L’Oreal, the new Hemp Shampoo from Body Shop etc. contain this substance.

    The first ingredient listed (which means it is the single most prevalent ingredient) in Clairol’s Herbal Essences is Sodium Laureth Sulfate. Therefore, I called one company, and I told them their product contains a substance that will cause people to have cancer. They said, Yeah we knew about it but there is nothing we can do about it because we need that substance to produce foam. By the way Colgate toothpaste also contains the same substance to produce the "bubbles". They said they are going to send me some information.

    Research has shown that in the 1980s, the chance of getting cancer is 1 out of 8000 and now, in the 1990s, the chances of getting cancer is 1 out of 3, which is very serious. Therefore, I hope that you will take this seriously and pass this on to all the people you know, and hopefully, we can stop "giving" ourselves cancer-causing agents.

    INSTANT NOODLES

    Dear instant noodle lovers,

    Make sure you break for at least 3 days after one session of instant noodles before you eat your next packet! Please read the info shared to me by a doctor. My family stopped eating instant noodles more than 5 years ago after hearing about the wax coating the noodles - the wax is not just in the Styrofoam containers but it coats the noodles. This is why the instant noodles do not stick to each other when cooking.

    If one were to examine the ordinary Chinese yellow noodles in the market, one will notice that, in their uncooked state the noodles are oily. This layer of oil prevents the noodles from sticking together.

    Wanton noodles in their uncooked state have been dusted with flour to prevent them sticking together. When the hawker cooks the noodles, notice he cooks them in hot water and then rinses them in cold water before cooking them in hot water again. This process is repeated several times before the noodles are ready to be served. The cooking and rinsing process prevents noodles from sticking together.

    The hawker then "lowers the noodles in oil and sauce to prevent the noodles from sticking if they are to be served dry. Cooking instructions for spaghetti require oil or butter to be added in the water when boiling the spaghetti to prevent the pasta from sticking together. Otherwise, one gets a big clump of spaghetti!

    There was an SBC (now TCS) actor some years ago, who at a busy time of his career had no time to cook, resorted to eating instant noodles everyday. He got cancer later on. His doctor told him about the wax in instant noodles. The doctor told him that our body will need up to 2 days to clear the wax. There was also an SIA steward who after moving out from his mother’s house into his own house, did not cook but ate instant noodles almost every meal. He had cancer, and has since died from it.

    Nowadays the instant noodles are referred as " cancer noodles

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Childhood Achuchuchu!

October 7th, 2005 by jagster

masaya ba ang iyong childhood?
>> Masaya kasi happy family pa kami noon.. =)

tawag sau nung bata ka?
>> Untong, as in John Puruntong ng John N Marsha( I got this from my Lola..)

saan ka lumaki?
>> Valenzuela

sinong best friend mo doon?
>> marami.. di ko na maalala..

 

good girl/ boy kba dati?
>> Sobrang good boy..

anong pangarap mo maging nung bata ka?
>> Superhero, katulad ni Superman.. hehehe!

ano mga sinalihan mong clubs b4?
>> Sports, Glee Club, English club, etc.

favorite tv shows mo dati?
>> Superfriends, GI Joe, Transformers, Thundercats, Wonder Years, etc.

San ka pinapasyal ng magulang mo dati?
>> Lola ko usually, pinapasyal kami sa Bukiran ng mga pinsan ko.. lagi nga ako nahuhuli maglakad noon e.. Nagka-Polio kasi ako buti na lang naagapan..=)

Nag birthday kna ba sa mcdo or jolibee?
>> Nope.. puro sa bahay lang..

sino ang crush mo dati?
>> Marami rin,
Childhood –> Diana, Veronica, Melody utol ng barkada kong si  Ian, Oli, Erin..  sorry ha.. hehehe!                         childhood crush lang yun. =)

Teacher –> Ms. Romero, Ms. Del Rosario.. hahaha!

Artista? si Isabel Granada yata..

favorite food mo dati?
>> Scramble, Fishball, Tira-tira ba tawag doon( para siyang asukal na pinatigas),  Gatas ng Kalabaw, Taho, Chickadeez at Cheezee (kasi may free na Superfriends na cards..)  Sago, Bocayo, Binatog, Chocnut, Curly Tops, Sorbetes, etc. 

bus rider kba dati?
>> Nope, may service kami pag hinahatid sa sinusundo. Tapos hinahatid kami ni Erpat pag umaga.

terno ba kayo ng suot ng mga kapatid mo?
>> mostly katulad ng sa kuya ko kaya lang magkaiba kulay…

ano ang childhood pet mo?
>> Butete kasama sila Jason Africa.. Hahaha! kidding aside, Dog is always a boy’s bestfriend..

anong awards mo nung bata ka?
>> Gold medal sa Singing Contest nung Grade 3..

Nagatend kba ng summer clinics / camps b4? Ano-ano?
>> Nope. Di ko na raw kailangan.. hehehe! Wait, I think pinasok ako ng erpat ko sa isang acting workshop noon, bah! balak yata akong pag-artistahin kasi talented daw.. saka Cute.. hehehe!

Naligo kba sa ulan dati?
>> Sino ba namang hindi.. lumulusong pa nga kami sa baha noon at nag-swimming.. that time sobrang linis pa ng mga tubig baha.. pero ngayon, maligo ka sa tubig baha, sakit na aabutin mo.. hehehe!

Parati ka bng nasusugatan nung bata ka?
>> Somewhat parang ganun.. Puro bukol kaya tinawag ako nila Ian na Jay Bukol.. Hahahaha! pero ngayon iba na bumubukol (with a grin smile.. hehehe!)

meron ka bang tree house dati?
>> I’m more of a ninja nung bata ako, mahilig mag-aakyat sa puno, bakod ng bahay.. hehehe!

may Barbie kba?
>> Hello? hehehe! baka He-man or GI Joe toys, not to mention, Visionaries action figure..

eh GI joe?
>> yun na nga!

meron kabang bike?
>> meron kaya lang sa uncle ko.. style motocross nga eh.. sobra taas with matching shock absorber kaya sarap sakyan..

Roller blades?
>> Nope.

Skateboard?
>> yup..

Ano mga nilalaro mo nung bata ka?
Chato
Patintero
Jolen
Piko
Touch Ball
Mataya-taya
Langit-Lupa
Agawan base
Teks
Bahay-Bahayan :P
Monkey-Monkey

Ano mga nilalaro mong computer games dati?
>> Atari pa lang uso noon.. hehehe!
36_21_11_1

Ms. Universe Beauty Pageant

September 29th, 2005 by jagster

The SETTING: Pageant Night Ms. Universe Beauty Pageant Q & A Portion

THE FINALISTS:

Ms. America
Ms. Spain
Ms. Britain
Ms. Iran
Ms. India
Ms. Philippines
QUESTION: Ms. America, how would you describe a male organ in your country?

MS. AMERICA: Well, I would say that , male organs in America are like gentlemen.

QUESTION: Why do you say that?

MS. AMERICA: Because it stands every time it sees a woman.

36_1_551
(Applause…Applause)

QUESTION: Ms. Spain, how would you describe a male organ in your country?

MS. SPAIN: Male organs in our country are like toros in our very own bullfight.

QUESTION: Why do you say that?

MS. SPAIN: Because it charges every time it sees an opening.

36_1_551_1
(Applause…Applause)

QUESTION: Ms. Britain, how would you describe a male organ in your country?

MS. BRITAIN: Male organs in our country are like Shakespearian actors.

QUESTION: Why do you say that?

MS. BRITAIN: Because it cries after every performance.

36_1_551_2
(Applause…Applause)

QUESTION: Ms. Iran, how would you describe a male organ in your country?

MS. IRAN: Well. I can say that male organs in Iran are like thieves.

QUESTION: And why do you say that?

MS. IRAN: Because they always enter through the back door.

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(Applause…Applause)

QUESTION: Ms. India, how would you describe a male organ in your country?

MS. INDIA: Well, I can say that a male organ in India is like a laborer.

QUESTION: Why do you say that?

MS. INDIA: Because it works day & night.

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(Applause…Applause)

QUESTION: Ms. Philippines, how would you describe a male organ in your country?

MS. PHILIPPINES: Ahh… well, opcors, hihihi… I can say dat male organs in our country are like chismis!

QUESTION: Chismis?

MS. PHILIPPINES: Ayy! Sorry… it’s ano, ahh kuwan… it means GOSSIP in our language.

QUESTION: Hmm… interesting comparison. And why do you say that?

MS. PHILIPPINES: Ayy… dyahe! Hihihi! Kasi… I mean… Because… it passes from mouth to mouth.

36_1_75136_11_61_2
(STANDING OVATION!)

Enhance your vocabulary..

September 29th, 2005 by jagster

I know this is way too old.. hehehe!

Contemplate - not enough pinggan

Punctuation - pera para maka-enrol

Ice Buko - Is my hair ok?

Tenacious - Footwear for tennis

Calculator - Tawagan kita mamaya

Devastation - Dun sasakay ng bus

Protestant - Tindahan ng prutas

Masturbation - Malawakang gutom

Statue - Ikaw ba yan?

Predicate - Pakawalan mo ang pusa

Dedicated - pinatay ang pusa

Aspect - Pantusok o pandurog ng yelo

Deduct - Ang pato

Defeat - Ang paa (ng pato?)

Detail - Ang buntot (ng pato?)

Deposit - Gripo (Call DIPLOMA if DEPOSIT is leaking)

City - Bago mag-utso; A number to follow 6

Cattle - Doon nakatila ang Hali at Leyna

Persuading - Unang Kasal

Depress - Ang nagkasal sa PERSUADING

Defense - Ginamit ng mga pangsulat sa kontrata sa PERSUADING

Evacuate - Ebak muna ako, you wait!

It depends - Kainin mo ang bakod

Shampoo - Bago mag-labing-isa (11)

Delusion - Maluwang (kapag maluwang ang damit, eh DELUSION)

Delivery - Walang bayad. Kapag working lunch, eh DELIVERY na lang tanghalian

Profit - Messenger of God

profit - patunayan mo

Balance Sheet - What comes out after eating a balance diet

backlog - bacon saka egg

beehive - magpakatino ka

cdrom - tingnan mo ang kwarto

debug - ang ipis

defrag - ang palaka

defense - ang bakod

defer - ang balahibo

deflate - ang plato

detest - ang eksamin

devalue - ‘yon ang susunod sa letrang ‘V’

devote - ang boto

dilemma - brownout! , a!

effort - ‘dun nagla-land ang efflane

forums - apat na kwarto

july - nagsinungaling ka ba?

thesis - ito ay…

Hahahaha!

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Ang Sampung Prutas!

September 29th, 2005 by jagster

May 3 hunters na nahuli ng mga cannibals sa gubat.
Dinala sila sa harap ng tribal chief para siya ang
pupugot ng ulo.  Nagmakaawa yung mga hunters at naawa
naman yung chief.

Chief: sige hindi namin kayo papatayin, sa isang
kondisyon. kailangan isa-isa kayong mangolekta ng 10
pirasong prutas. dalhin nyo iyon dito at saka ko
sasabihin ang sunod nyong  gagawin.

Naghiwa-hiwalay ang tatlong magkakaibigan. Unang
dumating si Pedro, dala-dala’y 10  oranges.

Chief: Ngayon, ipasok mo ang lahat ng mga prutas na
iyan sa iyong  puwet. Kailangan ay hindi magbabago ang
mukha mo. Konting  ngiwi o ngiti lang  aypupugutan ka
agad namin ng  ulo.

Unang orange pa lang ang pinapasok ay napa-sigaw agad
si Pedro.  Agad siyang pinugutan ng  ulo.

Sunod na dumating ay si Juan, dala-dala’y 10 lansones.

Tuwang-tuwa siya ng in-explain sa kanya nung  Chief
kung ano ang kailangan nyang  gawin.

Juan: sus!  sisiw lang pala. kayang-kaya! buti na lang
maliit na prutas ang kinolekta ko.  naipasok ni Juan
ang mga lansones sa kanyang puwit ng walang problema.
Ngunit nung asa pang-10 prutas na siya, bigla  siyang
napatawa. Pugot-ulo agad si Chief.

Pagkamatay ay napunta agad si Juan sa langit kung saan
nakita niya si Pedro.  Nagkausap ang dalawa.

Pedro: Sayang Juan! pinapanood kita dito sa langit
habang ginagawa mo yung utos.  Isang lansones na lang
hindi  mo pa tiniis! Buhay ka pa sana ngayon. Ano bang
nangyari sayo?

Juan: Pare, ang dali-dali ngang ipasok nung mga
lansones. Kaso, nung matatapos na  ako bigla kong
nakita si  pareng Jose

– may dala-dalang 10 langka!

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What men have to say about (Pinay) women

September 29th, 2005 by jagster

1. They take an eternity dressing up.
2. They take an eternity putting on make-up.
3. They take an eternity to shop.
4. When they shop, they like everything they see.
5. They’re so beauty-conscious.
6. They’ve tried every beauty product/hair treatment/slimming pill on the market.
7. They are perpetually on a diet.
8. Pero may bilbil pa rin.
9. They brush their hair more than the required 100 strokes per day.
10. They look in the mirror all the time
11. They always fish for compliments from us.
12. They are not content with the compliments we give them.
13. They’re obsessive-compulsive about keeping things in their proper place.
14. They leave their what-have-you lying around.
15.They’re overly attached to gossip & entertainment talk shows.
16. Not to mention mushy Korean soap operas.
17.They try to save for their breast augmentation/ liposuction even if it’s beyond their means.
18. They give you gifts they would like to receive themselves.
19. They talk to their girl friends on the phone for too long.
20. When they are with their girl friends, they go to the rest room in droves.
21. They text shamelessly while on dates.
22. With matching pa-picture on their camera phones.
23. They wear too much make-up.
24. They wear too many frilly dresses.
25. When they wear accessories, it looks like they’re carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders.
26. They over-analyze things.
27. They have not gotten rid of their pa-cute, colegiala accent.
28.They giggle a lot/laugh too loud.
29. They’re fickle and indecisive.
30. They’re sometimes too clingy it leaves us breathless.
31. They “imagine” too much.
32. They cry too easily.
33. When they drive, it looks like they left their IQ in the garage.
34. When we drive, they scream in total exaggeration.
35. They’re proud in proclaiming themselves to be virgins.
36. They proud in claiming themselves to be virgins.
37. They think it’s yucky to smoke from icky-looking pipes.
38. They think it’s even worse to swallow the leaks from icky-looking pipes.
39. They just lie there and do nothing.
40. When they’re horny, they’re the best, most beautiful lover in the whole world.

36_21_11

What women have to say about (Pinoy) men

September 29th, 2005 by jagster

1. They forget appointments.
2. They don’t notice your haircut.
3. They leave their socks lying around.
4. They can be so obsessive-compulsive about keeping things in their proper place.
5. They are more figure- and beauty-conscious than you.
6. They eat only fresh banana and muesli for breakfast.
7. They have the guts to say: “I think you should get a liposuction.”
8. They eat like a pig.
9. They snore.
10. All they do is watch television.
11. They gawk at women with big breasts.
12. They laugh at women with big breasts and no butt.
13. Admittedly, they are more tsismoso than women.
14. They chat too much.
15. They’re such cheapskates they only send you text messages through YM and Chikka.
16. They pick the wrong gifts.
17. But still you are forced to say “My! This is the loveliest piece of (shit) I’ve ever seen!”
18. Their idea of unwinding after a long day is a bottle of beer…in a beerhouse.
19. Their idea of fashion is orange polo shirt over jeans and rubber shoes.
20. They’re so finicky they don’t want a single crease on their pants.
21. They wear colored underwear… as in purple and green
22. They can’t sit still without looking at their cellphone for 10 minutes.
23. They text shamelessly on dates.
24. They keep pictures of their wives/girlfriends in their wallets while openly philandering.
25. They call every girl “sweetheart” and “my dear.”
26. They send you emails meant for someone else.
27. They’re such lousy performers in bed.
28. They’re such goood performers in bed but won’t commit.
29. They forget they don’t stand a chance with Diana Zubiri.
30. They’re so obsessed with the eighteeners and twenty-somethings.
31. They won’t do housework.
32. They play music too loud.
33. They drive too fast.
34. They believe their secretaries more than you.
35. They abhor shopping.
36. They shop with you without giving you the shopping money.
37. They boast about bedding so many women when their dicks are so small, it won’t even fit a gas tank.
38. They like you to go down on them without them going down on you.
39. They think you will be so crazy about them when they go down on you.
40. They expect you to be like their mother.
41. They make fun of women-drivers.
43. They are work-obsessed.
44. They kiss and tell.
45. They have no qualms looking at other women while with you.
46. They have to hang out with their male buddies on Friday nights.
47. They talk about sports all the time.
48. Sometimes, they are too silent. They take the phrase “man of few words to the extreme.”
49. All they want is sex.
50. They are so dense. Case in point: an ex who read this entry asked me: “hindi naman ako ganon di ba?”

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Awwww! That huuurts!